LOSING IT
A play in two acts
Author’s note: This is scene 5, the last scene of the first act. The two characters, long-ago lovers, catch up on their shared loss.
Scene 5
A house in Western Massachusetts
Time: Next day, Sunday.
At Rise: Return to the “blue room” at the top of the house. Late day sun streams through window’s homemade white curtains.
Iris is seated on the bed, leaning against the wall.
Al sits in rocking chair, facing Iris.
AL
Iris Anne.
IRIS
Alan Ramsdell.
AL
Eye.
IRIS
Al.
AL
Back in the blue.
IRIS
Whiled away alotta hours in here. Ignoring our work, falling asleep on top of each other, wasted hours bullshitting about who knows what, listening to the radio…
AL
My home away from home. Couldn’t believe you had a double bed.
IRIS
They actually let us come up here alone – you, the only boy who met with Mom and Dad’s approval.
AL
A lot of us were sniffing around.
IRIS
You were the one.
AL
We were one.
IRIS
(pause) Does Raquel know?
AL
She does.
IRIS
Everything?
AL
Everything. (pause) Does Nick?
IRIS
(laughing) Awww, act like you don’t know his name. You know you know it.
AL
Nat?
IRIS
Add an e.
AL
Neat?
IRIS
Ha. (pause) We’re gonna let this place go.
AL
Let go?
IRIS
Sell.
AL
Never.
IRIS
Ever.
AL
Why?
IRIS
It’s haunted.
AL
Could be. What do your sisters think?
IRIS
Frances can’t imagine parting with this place. Lucy’s happy as long as she has a crash pad, and Delia, well…
AL
Let me guess. She’ll go with the cosmic flow.
IRIS
That would be correct. The past is past. (pause) Just can’t manage it these days.
AL
You love this house.
IRIS
Used to. When it was ours. Not anymore.
AL
I do.
IRIS
You do?
AL
Yeah. The birds. The bees.
IRIS
The bear.
(they both laugh)
AL
Friday night cards, your dad’s blazing fires, summer cookouts. I practically lived here. In this room. (pause) Think your parents ever knew?
IRIS
When I lost it?
AL
We lost it, Eye. (pause) What about your Mom, think she figured it out?
IRIS
She wasn’t home but, she had an inkling, maybe. She was sorta in denial.
AL
You, being her favorite. (pause) I loved your mom.
IRIS
Miss her. Every day.
AL
She might as well have been my mom.
IRIS
She did let you in. (pause) As did I.
AL
And I, you. (pause) You have her eyes. She gave her irises to her Iris.
IRIS
Funny what we get from our parents.
AL
And don’t get.
IRIS
What color are Camilla’s eyes?
AL
Brown, so far.
IRIS
She didn’t get your blues.
AL
Browns won out.
IRIS
You and me both.
AL
What about you and Nate? Kids?
IRIS
Too late.
Al gets out of the rocking chair and kneels near the bed. He inspects the cracked floor boards and looks up at Iris.
Silence.
AL
Want me to replace these altogether or fill in the cracks?
IRIS
Don’t ask me. Let’s forget about them.
AL
Anyone ever notice the stains?
IRIS
When? (pause) Then?
AL
Scrubbed the hell out of ‘em.
IRIS
You did. Sort of a blur for me.
AL
Yeah. So much blood.
IRIS
Took a lot out of me.
AL
I was scared for you, Eye.
IRIS
Hard to forget.
AL
Haven’t.
IRIS
Is that why you went to California?
AL
You were finished with me. You toughened up and I fell apart.
IRIS
Yeah, right.
AL
Lotsa years in between. Now, I’m settled — here in our hometown, the one you couldn’t get away from fast enough.
IRIS
But look at you. With smart and beautiful Raquel. And a baby. Frances is still pondering your package.
AL
Excuse me?
IRIS
Not that one. She’s scratching her head over your life, can’t figure out how you’ve come by your happiness. Why you’re not a banker, or something.
AL
Me. A banker?
IRIS
You coulda done anything.
AL
(laughing) I coulda been a contender. (pause) Life intruded.
IRIS
Wish we could have held on, saved the part of us (pause) that died in me.
AL
You and me.
IRIS
It’s still in my head, that time – our fright, how we didn’t really know what was happening until it was upon us.
AL
I used to wake up sorry, thinking, what if things had turned out differently. If only we had known what to do or who to turn to.
IRIS
If anyone. I’ve convinced myself it was a reprieve, a gift — but we lost each other in the aftermath, and in the end.
Long pause.
AL
Ever imagine our kid?
IRIS
Blue eyes.
AL
Right. Recessive. (pause) Wonder what she would have been like.
IRIS
She?
AL
I think so.
IRIS
Funny. Maybe a little goofy?
AL
Definitely. (long pause) Coming up with you, Iris, you saved me. And now, here, I’m right back in it. With you. Spinning and falling. Falling for you. Falling into you. In our room, the blue room, our corner, our refuge. (pause) It’s a part of me, of us, always.
IRIS
And so is the loss.
Jane E. Bolster is a writer and a teacher. Her play, Losing It, was awarded the David Dortort Prize from City College.